Imaginative heart Prt. 1

I come to realize that I had so much importance on friendship that I forgot what fellowship actually meant. I put God lower because I had built my foundation on my friends. I trusted them, I relied on them, and I even considered them like brothers and sisters. After all is that not what Face book is supposed to be? I was working on figuring out just how open I could be. Sure, I kept what was necessary secret. It was not like I was telling them how my sexuality worked.

I managed to find a lot of others on Facebook who shared the same faith and coping mechanisms as I have. This of course was during a span of 4 years. I had only one secret left that I did not want to hide about anymore. My art and writing were built around the concept that I have worked on for about 10 years. I did not explain it to anyone except my parents and those who I knew I could trust. It was my concept of imaginary friends.

About 10 years ago or more

           When I discovered my joy in reading fictional stories I decided to start doing art work again. I even began a diary of actual paper and a binding. Before then most of my reading was in science and mathematics because the world around me just amazed me. I think Eragon was the reason I created my first imaginary friend. The main character communicated to his dragon through his mind. This was where I got the idea to begin with simple dialogue between me and my first Tulpa Seria.

It was weird at first how I felt. I was talking to something that was not actually there. Over time though I got used to it and I managed to create an illusion of a separate entity. During that time I struggled with social anxiety and maintaining friendships. I remember walking down a hall way of my High school and my disability made it hard to control my body movements. I was having an anxiety attack. It was not bad enough to cause me any damage. At least not physically, but it was debilitating to say the least.

One day in my creative writing class we were assigned to write a short story. Of course, if you knew me there is no such thing as a short story. My main character was Timothy and his mother was of course Seria my Tulpa because that was a starting point that I could work with. Timothy was not only physically fit and knew self-defense, but that was his way of dealing with depression. He was not well known to start fights mind you, but him and his friends would spar every time they had a chance.

Then there was a moment when he was in his friend’s club house trying to figure out how in the world he would tell his parents that he was going into the army. He ended up not really telling his parents and going to the arena on the day try outs began. He managed to beat every opponent that he was put in a match with. In the end he got into a rather high rank.

His mother hated that he kept this a secret from her, but she knew that there was no way she could stop him. She told him how much she loved him and wished him luck in his training. My concept for my imaginary world began and a book series was born. I am still in the works of writing the first book mind you, but its something that I have been working on since high school.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s